Mental disintegration in an AFL side is a tragedy unfolding in the form of the Richmond Football Club, the classic metaphor for a lack of global action in the face of an impending rise of terrestrial temperatures that threatens to fundamentally destroy our way of life. Trading poor yielding carbon credits Jay Schultz (Power) , Robbie Nahas (Roos), Tom Derickx (Swans) and other inefficient solar powers into new sustainable AFL environments causing a sharp rise in value and energy after years of Punt Road sluggish output. Attempts to kickstart an alternative energy source with the influx of other club’s spent fuel rods has resulted in an expectations melt down that will warp the DNA of hope for many half lives to come. This is the club that selected now out of the league Richard Tambling over Lance Franklin and Jarrod Roughead back in that super draft in 2005. With the discernible susurration of a record 65,165 saplings in the stands hungry for finals oxygen after a 30 year finals El Nino, there’s no lack of will for change.
Their opponent tonight is the unpredictable and much maligned North Melbourne whom pundits conveniently forget have put Sydney, Fremantle and Port Adelaide to the tip so far this season and are looking to reinforce their place at the AFL Climate Commission G8.
Yet, tonight, the Tigers proceed to burn fossil fuels with a lack of foresight and discipline in taking their eye off the big climate picture and exercising indulgence in picking off their Roo opponents with macho burnouts. 5 North Melbourne goals come from off the ball free kicks and back chat 50 metre penalties. Ty Vickery opens up Michael Firrito’s cheek to score 2 weeks off, while Matt Thomas belts Boomer for a week off. Richmond at game end are 13th at 3 wins and 8 losses and officially toast, which as you know cant be recycled – yet.
A tight struggle in the first quarter is undercut in the second term by an inspired 4 goal burst by Damien Martin to propel Richmond to a 35 point lead at half time with the Roos recycling their on again off again game. Contemplating an early exit to beat the rush back to Ballarat, a social club inspired piping hot cup of Nescafe derived from a sample of the 20,000 litres of Etihad roof derived rain water implores us to stay to await the potential of a fightback. What follows is nothing short of a miracle.
Scotty pulls Majak Daw from the action, swinging Liam Anthony into the backline to balance the big men Petrie and Black up forward and placing his faith in his midfielders Swallow, Ziebell and Cunnington to compliment the goal cheek of Brent Harvey and Robbie Nahas. Up in the medallion club, two Roos members debate the merits of Daws place in the side and get into a punching match clearing the bay and causing coiffured members to run for cover protecting their costly drinks. It’s hard to believe that only a clearance bonfire is needed – lit to purge the entrails of that lack of competitiveness shown by the shinboners in that shameful second quarter.
Drew Petrie, big boned Roo forward has been so out of form he looked destined for the scrap heap with so little influence on the game to half time, he’s only scored zero fantasy points. Some big grabs, a couple of Richmond defensive panics and subsequent free kicks and Drew is back in the big bin with 4 goals for company. 2013 delisted Tiger Robbie Nahas whom just retired AFL supremo Andy Demitriou reveled in emphasising the arse in his surname on Brownlow medal night, saves his best North game for his ex teamates goaling twice at critical times on the run to empty the gas tank on the Tiger rig.
A total of 9 third quarter goals keeps the goal umpire’s chiropractor on speed dial as his neck cranes again and again from the Kangaroo onslaught. By three quarter time via Roo conduction, a 35 point deficit has to a 13 point lead. The final quarter is a slow tease until the Roos cut loose to cruise out to a 28 point win. Again its hugs in the members as we shed our inhibitions to generate our own heat while celebrating anew the uncertainty principle that is North Melbourne.
The Government must intervene to make Damien Martin captain of Richmond now. He’s got some rough edges, lacks discipline from time to time, but is an aggressive talented game breaker with a touch of the ol Richmond arrogance who leads from the front with a passion sorely lacking in their present leaders.