I’ve long been found wanting – since time immemorial – like the time I was advised of this by my father under heavy harvest stress when I totally botched the corner raking on a hay windrow making it impossible for him to follow with the baler. Luckily for me, with my knock about personality I can today wear his in the moment epithet laced with colourful obscenities presumably learnt in the air force, as a key reminder of the benchmark for being found…wanting. I could easily build a list here attesting to further incidents but you get the idea. Yes, this is the round where the chosen – indeed men of a certain generation in our great game were found wanting. Men who get to their middle aged years with a touch of arrogance, entitlement and inflated sense of freedom to speak their mind as a little bit of gospel. So….
Mick or Eddie for the main prize here? Mick’s nominated for his less than encouraging leg up to his captain Chris Judd to kick on into another season lest he be remembered as a hack struggling for a touch in his last game. Or for talking up his opponent Sydney pre game as having the greatest list he’s ever seen. Talk about keeping a lid on the confidence amongst the boys he? Or for his public pasting of Channel 7 crew and boundary rider and Geelong premiership captain Cameron Ling at half time when his Blue boys were in with a sniff having taken it right up to the COLA (Cost of living allowance) Swanees. When Ling was ejected from the rooms later, the momentum was gone and the Blues via Buddy’s 6 big goals were pulverised beyond the need to be wanted.
Eddie cant stop slugging it out with the Swans motivated by the sense the extra $1 million dollar accrued annually in their salary cap is being blown on superstars. Caught in a slanging match with Sydney President Andrew Pridham who began to give as good as he got to setting Ed straight on:
His view on Eddie:
“He is the AFL equivalent of Clive Palmer,He represents one 18th of the clubs, which is 5.5 per cent of the clubs, but he just dominates the agenda for reasons of self-interest.
The need to reign in Eddie:
“No one seems to bring him to account but I’m happy to”
The entry of the Greater Western Sydney whom Ed claims Sydney opposed:
“Eddie @sydneyswans voted for @GWS_Giants. I was at the meeting and voted. You must have been asleep in that meeting. Tell the truth.”
His longetivity at the Swans:
“Been on @sydneyswans for 13 years not 5 minutes. Perhaps Eddie has been around too long?”
Ed came back with a depiction of Sydney as “The greatest protectors of their self-interest of any organisation that god’s put breath into.” I’m with Ed even though he was on the angry pills after his Pies were obliterated on Sunday by the Dons. Take way the COLA, the annual subsidies and see what happens in a level playing field. “Get stuffed Sydney’’.
Sydney’s Swanee coach John Longmire sniffed at then pushed back the plate offered his way as assistant coach of the Australian team in which Ed has some titular diplomatic role for that ridiculous hybrid our code insists on continuing to play about the Irish. Eddie felt this petty but fellas a spate over that inane Round ball? Please…
Brian Taylor’s reference to Harry Taylor as a “big poofter” live to air amongst co commentator guffaws brought a social media storm that forced his apology just two quarters later. Now what does the “big” he invokes here refer to ? That Harry’s got an extra scoop of gayness? Built like a Village person? Out, proud and showy on his teammates shoulders innocently celebrating his 150th? Its the “big” that’s the most ambiguous for me. Bound for counseling and “education”. Now Harry who hasn’t come out yet if his wife has anything to do with it, left Ian Thorpe’s interview with a media exhumed Parky do the talking while the world balanced the contradictions of the lead broadcasters’ marque talent on the wrong side of the street viz a vee their AFL partner’s commitment to stamping out homophobia in football. There’s some famous pedigree here – Who could forget Ted Whitten who, after 25 years of media experience going back to this infamous “Hit the boundary line” incite in the commentary box to St Kilda on the road to their first flag in ’66; invoking the poofta jibe at a co-panelist during a handball competition on the first ever Footy show. No “big” for Ted here, a real man, he cut straight to the chase. I’m glad Ted never whacked me. I remember him being taunted by a smart arse Adidas sales rep where your humble writer was conscripted in whites and bow tie to serve the drinks and offer up canapes that should have come with their own forensic report. The salesperson foolishly thought he was in Ted’s inner circle when he started up his bullshit. Ted’s jab to his arm delivered with serious menace beneath a veneer of good natured mates having a big night. Laughs all round. Ted laughing. Salesperson laughing. 2 hours later he’s in the corner still rubbing that arm.
But what of the footy and those all important finals places? Whose found wanting there?
Port’s stream and run game bogged again this time in the fields of Etihad against a christian revivalist Richmond. Hopes of a home final melt like Macarthur’s Park.
Gold Coast without their wounded king fall to another bunch of young canine stars emerging from the PETA raided West Footscray puppy farm.
Collingwood’s mid field stung by Essendon’s intensity fails to hold up a depleted backline and goals fall upon them unfettered.
Adelaide’s initiative is rebuffed after 3 Hawk revivals to see off a plucky opponent before a hostile 50,000 plus crowd.