Jack’s week mirrored my own incapacity bedridden with gastro/flu hybrid. Plenty of starts and stops before a flush of goals. Putting himself forward for the weekly press conference having recovered from a self imposed “media ban”, Jack promptly provides ample justification for it with his ill chosen words on Richmond’s inadequate game plan and the aping of the Hawks gameology at Punt Road. His next indiscretion is caused by unnamed mates who fail to show to pick him up from training as a growing storm over his comments grow. Now pilloried by the media, Jack, keen to skedaddle from attention, is next spotted escaping the Richmond ground via a series of alleyways after pursuit by a non-football TV crew that happened to be in the Neighbourhood presumably documenting the work ethic of the Punt Road intersection windscreen washers. I admired Jack for going with the fake mobile phone call while topping up his myki to shield his face from the washer chasers. He escapes – for now – the fate of all AFL rats in the barrell – through the station barriers for the voyage back to his lair to await the decision of his coach on his spot in the side.
Earlier Richmond coach Damien Hardwick said of Jack – “Obviously, we were pretty disappointed, we caught up with him this morning and removed his foot from his mouth and my foot from his arse.” The boot up the arse. A smart arse gets a clip behind the ears, but a dickhead or “dreamer” gets a boot up the arse, literally a re-boot to strike combustive strokes back into the machinery of good sense. My old man used to talk of being caught as a boy for some public chicanery by the local cop who then dispensed the time honoured boot up the arse to drive home the message of good community not just to him but to all who witnessed it in the “village square”. You wont find this penalty on the statue books and no doubt there’s no longer funding for it after Abbott’s first budget now power is measured by the dollar.
I worry for the Tigers in the lead up to the Giants game and tip the Orange people to pop another size 10 into Jack’s collective Khyber Pass. Jack turns round and kicks 11 in a training run against the AFL’s present and future problem side. Everyone loves a retribution story and post game Jack can continue to eat humble pie safe in the knowledge that his Coach’s boots stay on his feet and not again wedged motivational style up high into his goal square.
The orange people metaphor favoured by the Greater Western Sydney cheer squad needs examination and perhaps correction. The original Orange devotees relied not on ideology and philosophy, but on practices, techniques and methods aiming to offer every individual the chance to discover and choose their own proper religious path; the intent was to lead people to an essential, universal religiousness. Perhaps explains the form hole the Westies are in.
WEST Coast Eagles midfielder Elliot Yeo has his two front teeth knocked out in a collision with Collingwood’s Jarrod Witts while his mouthguard takes a sabbatical tucked in his sock. Lucky for Yeo it occurs near the end of the quarter so theres plenty of trainers from both sides on hand to search for the errant enamel. Quoting orthodontists quick to emerge with agreement cementing on a life time bill for Yeo of around $70,000 for a couple of bumper bar caps. Reminds of a large “SMILE” sponsorship sign from local tooth professor at the stadium where my kids played basketball. During slow games I’d question the sponsorship motivation. The subliminal message to me always read – “Enjoy your game kids but secretly I’m hopin that some of you get your teeth knocked into your gut”
Fearsome Pie warrior Nick Maxwell reignites his backline generalissimo status as he publicly belts and berates defence virgin teammate Alex Fasolo for thinking outside pick up rather than “pick up a bloke” accountability. Those bloody midfielders eh? Already down with injuries to Brown and Frost, Nick quickly adjusts to the pressure of blooding new defenders. You get the feeling he’s a boot up the arse man. Timely reminder of his argumentative relationship with ex Pie now Orange person Heath Shaw where on field disputes, finger pointing and stand offs were a attractive by-product of a day at the footy. Remember the good old days when both were suspended for that betting scandal back in 2011 centring on Maxwell to kick the first goal in the match against Adelaide in Round 9 where the penalty for both concluded right on the eve of the finals?
Gary Ablett sent an enormous scare through the much respected footy betting community after he’s put on report for an errant elbow on tagging scragging Dog Liam Picken who’d done the tagging job on the gun. Betting on the Brownlow medal is suspended as the match review panel pours over a paucity of video footage. Gaz beats the report rap with no case to answer and wifi speeds accross the nation slow to a crawl in the ensuing queue to get back on board Ablett and associated smokies. Memo to Elliot Yeo – note mouthguard on Gaz. In Mouth, not in sock.
Carlton regroup after realising the age of entitlement is over at three quarter time as Adelaide free loadback into the game on the back of an umpire funded scholarship. An undercooked pie of a game til the second half that even the seagulls turn their back on it explodes into an epic contest. Compelling viewing watching Mick’s emotional roller coaster in the box, a great lesson for all young aspiring actors looking to channel their inner anger and frustration for those gritty on the edge roles.